4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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