You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
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Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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