oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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