Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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