she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize