I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize