my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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