I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize