Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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