I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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