I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
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right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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