apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize