Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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