I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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