i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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