all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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