Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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