I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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