Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize