Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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