found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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