so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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