I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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