grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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