Whod you bang
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize