Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize