Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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