Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize