TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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