Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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