he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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