Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
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idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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