Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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