Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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