If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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