We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
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Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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