I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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