Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize