I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize