...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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