i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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