I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize