Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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