Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize