I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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