You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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