u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize