In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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