I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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