I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
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Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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