Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize